Life can only get...

Life can only get worse, if not better?

Its my 26th year of life, and I have seen and felt some pretty bizzare things like many. Whats happening right now? Things are just not going my way. Everythings taking a turn for the worse. I would like to give my own life as an instance, but the reader should not feel obliged to replace this with their own.

Right now I have a temporary job. Because of which I cannot be with the person I love.

Thats completely undersaid. Lets elaborate on those lines. I am currently in Tucson, with a Masters in Science and no job. One of the biggest reasons for me to pursue my Masters was because I loved a girl who had not even completed her degree and could not even count(or compute) the number of minutes in 1.5 hours. I needed to make more money to lead a comfortable life and I started with GRE and all that. But now she is not there in my life and I am left here with my MS and no job.

I always wanted to do alot for my parents.

This is a cliche statement, and I dont need to say anything more. You can always do alot for your parents, no matter what condition your in. But this is another reason I came here to do my MS. MS means earning in dollars, which is more money, which is me buying my parents lots of stuff.

These are the two major problems that make me feel bad, once in a while. Am sure the reader can replace them with many more or fewer or none.

But now lets try this out.

Life can only get better, if not worse!

That sounds kinda better. Lets read it again, "Life can only get better, if not worse!". It has a BJP 'feel good factor'.

Let me go over my life instance now.

Right now I have a temporary job. And I have the most beautiful person to live with, for the rest of my life.

I'am not that bad at what I do, that I dont deserve a job. Just that its not happening right now. Currently am in a Lead Architect position at a startup, which is very rare for most people. Although it is temporary, its very good experience and the work, for once, is interesting.

And Arpi is in my life. She is the sweetest thing in the world to me, and I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with her(I pity her ;).

I always wanted to do alot for my parents.

And this MS means alot to them. They always wanted me to study further and do well, and here I am. Am also in a great position to earn and get them stuff.

I see people, including myself, say life sucks, lifes great, life this and that. None of that is true. If something doesnt happen now, it will happen later. And if something happens now, it wont happen later.

Just relax, be yourself, be good, be happy, be sad and do everything that you feel like doing.

2 years

Where did 2 years go, where did they take me. Hell is the only gift this country gave me. And am just stuck here. Don't know for how long, but still here.

Yesterday the person I love tells me about the person I loved. 2 years ago I loved her, and 2 years later from then, I love her.

In the meanwhile, I pursued my Masters in Computer Science. 2 years of this was like choking yourself. And its not the studies, it was the circumstances, the people and alot of myself. Now am trying to remember why I came here in the first place. I know why, but I wish I could just go back in time. Thought things were getting better, but I dont know if I was thinking too much or too little.

These 2 years have made me richer and extremely poor. So rich that I spend 2 lacs gambling, and so poor that I cant feel certain things.

My mind plays with me, with images and feelings. I am tired.

But the only good thing to happen to me was the most wonderful person to enter my life. I feel bad for her. But she is a sweetheart. And I cant wait to get out of this hell and go back to her.